Speak low

I admit I am not one that always feel happy yet heart breaking pain like now are the nights that I never wish to be sober.
If I live alone, I would have drink to sleep and hopefully by the time I wake, it's time to sleep again.

Honestly where's the heart break?Who caused it other than myself? I,perhaps,look upon things more serious than they actually are and caused the misery.

But I wouldnt love denying how I feel.
When things goes wrong,you can be well assured it never comes solo.

I am sick and tired of having to pay attention to how people feel because of my intentional or not doings.
Why? Are they the only people that have feelings and moods but I cant? Cos' I am able to handle things better, cos' I am more mature, cos' I am expected all those?!
Please...people. I am begging you. Give me a chance and break.
I wish to be defend on rather than me fending for myself all the time.
I wish to be given the fair chance to behave like my own age than always have to think ahead of myself and behave like a grumpy old soul inside.

Great..just as I finished the above paragraph, trouble comes like another big wave hitting my shores.
Soon it's tsunami that flood my world!
How can people be so freaking irresponsible. Tell me the job is too stressful and you dont wanna cont'd working!Like what the fuck please!

I think with every big blow coming, I'm going insane and the best fucking part is I dont even dare to cry it out cos' everyone is at home!

Now do I understand why there's asylum and why people commit suicide.
I wont but I think the people who knows me expect too much of me.

Dont I deserve a chance to be happy as well?
And even you took that away!

Wish me good night?

Yes...now with everyone back to bed....that I can cry sliently.

Like what the fuck is this all about!